The Perv Pool

[The Human Q-Tip]

Yeah, this was pretty clearly not a sexual assault. When she told him to stop and was firm about it, he stopped.

Even thought he article was dismissive of the sexual assault claim, I still didn't get this part:

"Aziz Ansari sounds like he was aggressive and selfish and obnoxious that night."

What the hell? If a woman had done the exact same things he had, it would all be about female empowerment and having control over your own body. The dude did nothing wrong. At all.

 

[Jack Brickman]

Even thought he article was dismissive of the sexual assault claim, I still didn't get this part:

"Aziz Ansari sounds like he was aggressive and selfish and obnoxious that night."

What the hell? If a woman had done the exact same things he had, it would all be about female empowerment and having control over your own body. The dude did nothing wrong. At all.

I mean, it did sound like he was aggressive, but it sounded like she was content to go along with it for a while, then decided at some point that she didn't want to have sex with him. And, to his credit, he did exactly what you should do. He stopped.

And for the record, I'm not saying being aggressive is wrong. It was clearly working for him here for a while.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

I mean, it did sound like he was aggressive, but it sounded like she was content to go along with it for a while, then decided at some point that she didn't want to have sex with him. And, to his credit, he did exactly what you should do. He stopped.

And for the record, I'm not saying being aggressive is wrong. It was clearly working for him here for a while.

Right -- if someone isn't "aggressive", nothing happens. Someone has to take the initiative. When women are interested, there's all sorts of things they'll do "aggressively" to let the guy know, and nobody generally says crap about that. The guy's obligation is not to use any force, and to stop when told to do so. Beyond that, the dude asked her to get on the counter, and she said yes. He asked her to do it in front of a mirror, and she said no. Then he suggested watching Seinfeld.

The whole thing is a damn joke. I really don't even know who that guy is, but this is just unfair as hell.

 

[Jack Brickman]

Right -- if someone isn't "aggressive", nothing happens. Someone has to take the initiative. When women are interested, there's all sorts of things they'll do "aggressively" to let the guy know, and nobody generally says crap about that. The guy's obligation is not to use any force, and to stop when told to do so. Beyond that, the dude asked her to get on the counter, and she said yes. He asked her to do it in front of a mirror, and she said no. Then he suggested watching Seinfeld.

The whole thing is a damn joke. I really don't even know who that guy is, but this is just unfair as hell.

Well, on the plus side, the general consensus here seems to be that the woman is an idiot. No one is lining up in the streets calling for Aziz's career, at least not that I've seen.

 

[-Akronite-]

Well, on the plus side, the general consensus here seems to be that the woman is an idiot. No one is lining up in the streets calling for Aziz's career, at least not that I've seen.

I can understand not having a strong reaction to her story re: Aziz, but I don't think the pushback against the woman is super appropriate either. I feel like some people in here are missing what's wrong with the story on a personal level (again, I'm not saying he committed a crime).

 

[Jack Brickman]

I can understand not having a strong reaction to her story re: Aziz, but I don't think the pushback against the woman is super appropriate either. I feel like some people in here are missing what's wrong with the story on a personal level (again, I'm not saying he committed a crime).

I don't think anything is wrong with what he did. He brought a woman home and started getting physical with her. She clearly liked it and went along with it for a while, then at some point changed her mind. When she told him to stop, he did.

Seems like he acted like any normal person would and should.

 

[Jack Brickman]

And I do think that, as it's our responsibility to call for the heads of those who are obviously guilty like Weinstein, it's our equal duty to speak up when it's clear someone didn't do anything wrong, as was obviously the case with Aziz. He doesn't deserve to have his career ruined because some girl decided she didn't want him to fuck her and he stopped when she told him to. The fact that she calls this the worst night of her life is absurd considering nothing happened that she didn't want to happen.

I think when a woman tells everyone she was sexually assaulted and, from her own words, she clearly was not, it's not ridiculous to tell her that she's being an idiot. Stories like hers downplay the stories of those who are actually victims of sexual assault and rape and make the real victims look bad by association.

 

[MediumBaller]

Celebrities should record their private interactions with women, imo. Even when they do nothing wrong like Aziz they risk having their name dragged through the mud if someone decides they regret what happened after the fact.

 

[-Akronite-]

I don't think anything is wrong with what he did. He brought a woman home and started getting physical with her. She clearly liked it and went along with it for a while, then at some point changed her mind. When she told him to stop, he did.

Seems like he acted like any normal person would and should.

Did you read the whole thing? Even if she was okay with everything (she wasn't), he still acted over-aggressive and at the very least did not communicate well. I don't know how you can read that literally say he acted like anyone would and SHOULD. Again, not speaking on a criminal basis, but this should NOT be normal.

This is kind of like when the CK story came out and people defended him as doing nothing wrong... What? Again, I'm not saying ruin the guys career or send him to jail, but NOTHING wrong?

 

[-Akronite-]

Celebrities should record their private interactions with women, imo. Even when they do nothing wrong like Aziz they risk having their name dragged through the mud if someone decides they regret what happened after the fact.

People need to stop framing it like this. This was not next morning regret. She didn't enjoy any of it during it. You can argue a lot about this but I feel like I see it put this way to support a point that doesn't exist in this story.

 

[macbdog]

Well, on the plus side, the general consensus here seems to be that the woman is an idiot. No one is lining up in the streets calling for Aziz's career, at least not that I've seen.

'Here' is a male dominated site, in a thread dominated by guys who also post their own escapades in the Tinder thread. Not exactly surprised his behavior has been mansplained away and Aziz has been absolved here...

 

[MediumBaller]

People need to stop framing it like this. This was not next morning regret. She didn't enjoy any of it during it. You can argue a lot about this but I feel like I see it put this way to support a point that doesn't exist in this story.

If she didn't enjoy any of it then she didn't do a good job of letting him know. Aziz didn't force her to do anything. He didn't forcibly undress her, he didn't force her to blow him, and he didn't force her to stay in his apartment against her will. She didn't say no until the end of their evening, and when she did he called her an Uber and sent her on her way. And it's not likely a situation where she felt threatened by him and consented because she was scared of being attacked. The guy is 5'6, 130 pounds.

 

[Jack Brickman]

'Here' is a male dominated site, in a thread dominated by guys who also post their own escapades in the Tinder thread. Not exactly surprised his behavior has been mansplained away and Aziz has been absolved here...

Fair, but usually when you get the left and right posters agreeing on anything mildly political in nature it's a good sign that something is going on.

 

[-Akronite-]

She didn't say no until the end of their evening...

That’s not really true though. I just feel like some people are painting her as an opportunist who should’ve done this or that without fairly evaluating his actions. Again, I’m not saying he committed a crime, but that doesn’t mean his behavior was totally okay. Nuance exists.

 

[Jack Brickman]

That’s not really true though. I just feel like some people are painting her as an opportunist who should’ve done this or that without fairly evaluating his actions. Again, I’m not saying he committed a crime, but that doesn’t mean his behavior was totally okay. Nuance exists.

Most girls protest a bit when you're working your way into a hook-up. There's a difference between a soft "no" when you're trying to move forward a level and her actually asking you to stop. The former means "back it up a bit and try again in five minutes." The latter actually means stop.