My Wrestlemania report card:
Neville Vs. Aries - ***1/2
Solid, well-paced match that was actually given enough time. The crowd was really into it too, which was great to see. The cruiserweight division seems to be gaining some steam, and they've put on a nice series of quality PPV title matches the past few months. Neville retaining was the right call, and they protected Aries in the win as well. Smart booking all around.
Andre the Giant Battle Royal - **
This was a battle royal that happened. No idea why they had Mojo win or what they see in him. He strikes me as a good "hot tag" guy but not much else. Nice to at least see Zayn and Killian Dain making it to the end, I guess.
Ambrose Vs. Corbin - **
This was every Dean Ambrose match from the past year. It was underwhelming and lacked energy. The wrong guy won too.
Styles Vs. McMahon - ***1/2
I thought the announcers really oversold Shane in this one to the point where it bordered on annoying. However, Shane put on a pretty good in-ring performance. I liked the early story of him catching AJ by surprise with his wrestling ability, but I thought they didn't really pay it off by having AJ eventually start taking Shane seriously and just destroying him. Shane got far too much offense in for my liking. Regardless, Styles continues to impress and hopefully he'll be champ again before too long.
Owens Vs. Jericho - ****
After this match, Owens will be one tag title win away (and you know he and Zayn are gonna be tag champs at some point) from being another WWE grand slam champion. Kind of crazy, as most people never thought he'd even get a legit chance on the main roster at all a few years ago. Also, I think this match had more wrestling moves utilized than both Lesnar/Goldberg and Reigns/Taker combined times three. I thought this match was pretty much perfect for what it was. Two great in-ring guys who were former friends who knew each other's moves and, thus, countered them accordingly. I also liked that Owens had to hit the apron bomb to get the win. I'm hoping that this takes Jericho off screen for a while. It's a great cap to his last year-plus run and was easily the best wrestling match on the entire card.
Bayley Vs. Charlotte Vs. Nia Vs. Sasha - ***
They handled Nia about as well as could be expected and got her out of there early so she couldn't weigh the match down. If only Sasha and Bayley were smarter after that and just teamed up to destroy Charlotte. But faces in the WWE are always stupid, so what can you do? I also think the placement of this match was unfortunate. You made these girls follow Styles/Shane and Owens/Jericho, the two hottest feuds heading into 'Mania? I would have had them open, as I think this would have been the perfect match to get the crowd into the show without overshadowing the matches that followed. I think this one would have been better given more time (Sasha was eliminated way too early), and if they hadn't botched pulling off the turnbuckle past seeing as major points in the match revolved around it. How they fucked that up is beyond me. Also a strange decision to have Bayley win with a move she has never won a match with before.
Loved the "you suck" chants for Angle. You could tell he loved it too.
Gallows & Anderson Vs. Enzo & Cass Vs. Cesaro & Sheamus Vs. the Broken Hardys - ***1/2
Called that fucking Hardy return and win. Honestly, my only real complaints with this one are that Enzo and Cass were mostly just dead weight in this one and that it didn't get a bit more time. They could have shaved five minutes off of Shane/Styles and given it to these guys. Kudos to the Hardys for working this one a night after destroying themselves against the Young Bucks in Ring of Honor, especially Jeff who took that major swanton bump. All in all, fun match that will be more memorable because of the Hardy return than anything.
Cena & Nikki Vs. Miz & Maryse - **
Hilarious how King tried to play off that the crowd was firmly behind the Miz. Miz was working the crowd like a fucking champ, although it's a shame he was basically the face here because he's such a great heel. The match itself was all right. I think a straight Cena/Miz match would have been a lot better, as the women barely did anything anyway. It also would have been a lot better if Miz had won. Instead, we got the typical Super Cena shit where he gets his ass kicked for most of the match but then is suddenly totally fine when it's time to hit a couple of moves and end the match.
Triple H Vs. Seth Rollins - **1/2
This match was way too long for its spot on the card. You can't pull off a twenty-five minute match four hours into a wrestling show unless it's fucking amazing, and this was merely okay. I thought the beginning and ending were great, but the match just dragged in the middle. Triple H's entrance was great as usual.
Bray Wyatt Vs. Randy Orton - *
Sweet jesus this was fucking awful. I thought this would be one of the better matches on the card. Instead, it was the worst.
Brock Lesnar Vs. Goldberg - ***1/2
Well, this was a pleasant surprise. They worked a sprint style, and there were only about four different moves delivered during the entire fucking match, but it worked. Sadly, this was probably the best match of Goldberg's career.
Bliss Vs. Natalya Vs. Lynch Vs. Naomi Vs. James Vs. Carmella - **1/2
I felt pretty bad for the women in this match, as they essentially got screwed over by a packed card and an unfortunate placement. As a result, they didn't even get six minutes. Naomi's entrance was awesome and the match itself was fine. It was fast-paced, which was good given that the crowd had to be exhausted by this point in the night. Naomi winning wasn't exactly a surprise, but it was the right call in Orlando.
Roman Reigns Vs. The Undertaker - *
Dear god this was fucking terrible. I find it baffling that the same people who booked Lesnar/Goldberg and somehow so perfectly understood the strengths of the men involved and worked with them also booked this shit show. An Undertaker match, even if it's his last, in 2017 has no business being over twenty minutes long. The man just can't do that any more and it showed. The botches didn't help either, and regardless of whose fault they were it's not a good look for Roman to drop the ball so badly in his third 'Mania main event in a row. This is the second in a row that bombed.
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This show started off pretty strong, but man it fell the fuck apart at the end. No idea how Roman gets to keep bombing in Wrestlemania main events and then get another one the following year. What a fucking joke.