You show me a bratty, entitled 9 year-old, and I’ll show you a child who wasn’t spanked enough as a kid.
I’m kidding. Or am I kidding? I’m not sure.
Spanking isn't abuse.
Is it done too often? Sure.
Should it be a last resort? Absolutely.
I think in most cases you can get away with talking to your child. But there are those times when a spanking (not a beating) will actually do some good.
Communication and conversation is absolutely essential, though.
Is spanking abuse?
I just don’t think of anything like belt/spanking/switch as abuse. I think it’s correcting bad behavior and it isn’t necessarily the best way, but I don’t agree. Shrugs.
And frankly if someone believes force (within reason) is justified, why would they need to show remorse? That's their belief and they could actually be right. You absolutely can tell who walked all over their parents and they are typically pieces of shit.
Some will disagree on this and will think any form of violence is abuse.
Look I got paddled with a wooden paddle and leather paddle in school, now they don't do that anymore. Times are changing, but for me I don't believe in hitting a kid period.
Most professionals agree with me that hitting sends a bad message and there is other ways to correct behavior.
Either way, its a very controversial subject, atleast on the AP one, I know he took it to far in 90% of the parents minds out there, but I assure that there are some southern people out there that 100% agree with AP.
As for Hill, no one with a brain agrees with that bullshit.
And if talking to your kid doesn't work?
I suck at like 87% of things in life. Minimum. Might be higher.
But the one thing I’m really fucking good at, like REALLY fucking good is being a dad.
Some of it was from learning good and bad things from my dad, some reading and some of it comes from instinct.
The instinct part of it comes from being able to read my son and the situations he’s in like a book. And this also helps to be able to read OTHER kids and their parents like a book.
To me, bratty entitled 9 year olds come from bratty entitled parents. And that has nothing to do with a belt. It comes from an unwillingness to dedicate time and effort to teaching your kid how to interact with you, the parent. And to interact with other people. To go through the world as a solid citizen. Because for some people it’s easier to be a shit-head than not to be. These kids are coming from shit-head parents who probably also came from shit-head parents.
I’ve seen my SIL swat her kid on the ass in a way I wouldn’t call abuse. Her kids get the point.
I just don’t do it. I have my kid’s attention and I can read him in such a way that a facial expression is USUALLY all it takes to get him to stop a negative behavior. That’s not always the case. If he doesn’t stop or if he’s tantruming, I yank him out of the situation. And then communicate with him. But I can’t live with a scenario where I watch my kid hitting my grandson one day because I used to hit him. Ain’t me.
When I find out my kid did something I don’t like I sit him down and talk to him about it. We discuss what was wrong, how it hurt someone, whatever. And he explains back to me why before he gets up and leaves.
To me, this achieves far more than a belt.
What’s the best way? Why is it the best way? Could you use that way all the time instead? Does a belt or switch make them a better person? Can a belt or switch seriously hurt a kid? Do them damage you wouldn’t want the school or your friends to find out about? If not, why not?
Agree. People who walk on their parents are generally assholes. Parents shouldn’t let their kids do this.
Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.
Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.
Sign me up for the former.
And if talking to your kid doesn't work?
I think people who don't see any argument for physical force being applied may have not seen any horrible shit head kids
Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.
Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.
Sign me up for the former.
Got hit with belt by both my mom and dad as well as verbal/emotional abuse.....I don't do that shit to my kids.......has my culture changed?
I suck at like 87% of things in life. Minimum. Might be higher.
But the one thing I’m really fucking good at, like REALLY fucking good is being a dad.
Some of it was from learning good and bad things from my dad, some reading and some of it comes from instinct.
The instinct part of it comes from being able to read my son and the situations he’s in like a book. And this also helps to be able to read OTHER kids and their parents like a book.
To me, bratty entitled 9 year olds come from bratty entitled parents. And that has nothing to do with a belt. It comes from an unwillingness to dedicate time and effort to teaching your kid how to interact with you, the parent. And to interact with other people. To go through the world as a solid citizen. Because for some people it’s easier to be a shit-head than not to be. These kids are coming from shit-head parents who probably also came from shit-head parents.
I’ve seen my SIL swat her kid on the ass in a way I wouldn’t call abuse. Her kids get the point.
I just don’t do it. I have my kid’s attention and I can read him in such a way that a facial expression is USUALLY all it takes to get him to stop a negative behavior. That’s not always the case. If he doesn’t stop or if he’s tantruming, I yank him out of the situation. And then communicate with him. But I can’t live with a scenario where I watch my kid hitting my grandson one day because I used to hit him. Ain’t me.
When I find out my kid did something I don’t like I sit him down and talk to him about it. We discuss what was wrong, how it hurt someone, whatever. And he explains back to me why before he gets up and leaves.
To me, this achieves far more than a belt.
What’s the best way? Why is it the best way? Could you use that way all the time instead? Does a belt or switch make them a better person? Can a belt or switch seriously hurt a kid? Do them damage you wouldn’t want the school or your friends to find out about? If not, why not?
Agree. People who walk on their parents are generally assholes. Parents shouldn’t let their kids do this.
Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.
Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.
Sign me up for the former.
I was raised reasonably well and I was a nightmare. We are making some sweeping generalizations.What I’m saying is that horrible shit head kids generally come from horrible shit head parents.
I think good parents generally raise good kids. And there’s probably a pretty low incidence of hitting with good parents.
As to what you do when talking doesn’t work, you take things away, send them to their room to cool down.
Look...there’s gonna be some people that are going to want to defend hitting kids because their parents did it and they need it as part of their arsenal. And they also might define “horrible shit-head kid” differently than I do.
Parents generally make horrible shit head kids.
Got hit with belt by both my mom and dad as well as verbal/emotional abuse.....I don't do that shit to my kids.......has my culture changed?
I was raised reasonably well and I was a nightmare. We are making some sweeping generalizations.
It's been conceded up thread that there are kids who walk all over their parents. That isn't the type of kid who is shitty bc of their excessively violent environment