Kareem Hunt: One Pissed Off Runner!

[AZ_]

Give me Rae Carruth.

 

[The Oi]

You show me a bratty, entitled 9 year-old, and I’ll show you a child who wasn’t spanked enough as a kid.

I’m kidding. Or am I kidding? I’m not sure.

I suck at like 87% of things in life. Minimum. Might be higher.

But the one thing I’m really fucking good at, like REALLY fucking good is being a dad.

Some of it was from learning good and bad things from my dad, some reading and some of it comes from instinct.

The instinct part of it comes from being able to read my son and the situations he’s in like a book. And this also helps to be able to read OTHER kids and their parents like a book.

To me, bratty entitled 9 year olds come from bratty entitled parents. And that has nothing to do with a belt. It comes from an unwillingness to dedicate time and effort to teaching your kid how to interact with you, the parent. And to interact with other people. To go through the world as a solid citizen. Because for some people it’s easier to be a shit-head than not to be. These kids are coming from shit-head parents who probably also came from shit-head parents.

Spanking isn't abuse.

Is it done too often? Sure.
Should it be a last resort? Absolutely.

I think in most cases you can get away with talking to your child. But there are those times when a spanking (not a beating) will actually do some good.

Communication and conversation is absolutely essential, though.

I’ve seen my SIL swat her kid on the ass in a way I wouldn’t call abuse. Her kids get the point.

I just don’t do it. I have my kid’s attention and I can read him in such a way that a facial expression is USUALLY all it takes to get him to stop a negative behavior. That’s not always the case. If he doesn’t stop or if he’s tantruming, I yank him out of the situation. And then communicate with him. But I can’t live with a scenario where I watch my kid hitting my grandson one day because I used to hit him. Ain’t me.

When I find out my kid did something I don’t like I sit him down and talk to him about it. We discuss what was wrong, how it hurt someone, whatever. And he explains back to me why before he gets up and leaves.

To me, this achieves far more than a belt.

Is spanking abuse?

I just don’t think of anything like belt/spanking/switch as abuse. I think it’s correcting bad behavior and it isn’t necessarily the best way, but I don’t agree. Shrugs.

What’s the best way? Why is it the best way? Could you use that way all the time instead? Does a belt or switch make them a better person? Can a belt or switch seriously hurt a kid? Do them damage you wouldn’t want the school or your friends to find out about? If not, why not?

And frankly if someone believes force (within reason) is justified, why would they need to show remorse? That's their belief and they could actually be right. You absolutely can tell who walked all over their parents and they are typically pieces of shit.

Agree. People who walk on their parents are generally assholes. Parents shouldn’t let their kids do this.

Some will disagree on this and will think any form of violence is abuse.

Look I got paddled with a wooden paddle and leather paddle in school, now they don't do that anymore. Times are changing, but for me I don't believe in hitting a kid period.

Most professionals agree with me that hitting sends a bad message and there is other ways to correct behavior.

Either way, its a very controversial subject, atleast on the AP one, I know he took it to far in 90% of the parents minds out there, but I assure that there are some southern people out there that 100% agree with AP.

As for Hill, no one with a brain agrees with that bullshit.

Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.

Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.

Sign me up for the former.

 

[TheISHT]

No, she must have been alittle evil. She was uneducated, but I assume she got her butt whipped too growing up, agree with NateDogg about it still being culture not race, although because one grew up that way and that's how they were treated is not an argument for continued abuse by using it's their culture.

 

[David.]

I suck at like 87% of things in life. Minimum. Might be higher.

But the one thing I’m really fucking good at, like REALLY fucking good is being a dad.

Some of it was from learning good and bad things from my dad, some reading and some of it comes from instinct.

The instinct part of it comes from being able to read my son and the situations he’s in like a book. And this also helps to be able to read OTHER kids and their parents like a book.

To me, bratty entitled 9 year olds come from bratty entitled parents. And that has nothing to do with a belt. It comes from an unwillingness to dedicate time and effort to teaching your kid how to interact with you, the parent. And to interact with other people. To go through the world as a solid citizen. Because for some people it’s easier to be a shit-head than not to be. These kids are coming from shit-head parents who probably also came from shit-head parents.



I’ve seen my SIL swat her kid on the ass in a way I wouldn’t call abuse. Her kids get the point.

I just don’t do it. I have my kid’s attention and I can read him in such a way that a facial expression is USUALLY all it takes to get him to stop a negative behavior. That’s not always the case. If he doesn’t stop or if he’s tantruming, I yank him out of the situation. And then communicate with him. But I can’t live with a scenario where I watch my kid hitting my grandson one day because I used to hit him. Ain’t me.

When I find out my kid did something I don’t like I sit him down and talk to him about it. We discuss what was wrong, how it hurt someone, whatever. And he explains back to me why before he gets up and leaves.

To me, this achieves far more than a belt.



What’s the best way? Why is it the best way? Could you use that way all the time instead? Does a belt or switch make them a better person? Can a belt or switch seriously hurt a kid? Do them damage you wouldn’t want the school or your friends to find out about? If not, why not?



Agree. People who walk on their parents are generally assholes. Parents shouldn’t let their kids do this.




Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.

Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.

Sign me up for the former.

And if talking to your kid doesn't work?

I think people who don't see any argument for physical force being applied may have not seen any horrible shit head kids

 

[blommen]

This is all fucking wild to me. Hitting your child in any way is fucking gross, it accomplishes nothing that communication can't and just increases the likelihood that your child will grow up to do the same thing.

My two cents, whatever.

 

[TheISHT]

Got hit with belt by both my mom and dad as well as verbal/emotional abuse.....I don't do that shit to my kids.......has my culture changed?

 

[The Oi]

And if talking to your kid doesn't work?

I think people who don't see any argument for physical force being applied may have not seen any horrible shit head kids

What I’m saying is that horrible shit head kids generally come from horrible shit head parents.

I think good parents generally raise good kids. And there’s probably a pretty low incidence of hitting with good parents.

As to what you do when talking doesn’t work, you take things away, send them to their room to cool down.

Look...there’s gonna be some people that are going to want to defend hitting kids because their parents did it and they need it as part of their arsenal. And they also might define “horrible shit-head kid” differently than I do.

Parents generally make horrible shit head kids.

 

[Lee]

Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.

Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.

Sign me up for the former.

Controversy is based on people's opinions and having strong opinions. I agree 100% with you, but there is no debate that spanking a kid is controversial, I just fall on team never hit your kid.

And I too try and establish a relationship with my kids. My wife was a stay home Mom before the divorce 2 years ago, so she had the established relationship. I am close to my 15 year old daughter, but not nearly as close as my ex wife. Me and my ex talk about it and tries to further promote our relationship, but its tough because my daughter is a literal genius and has typical 15 year old know it all syndrome, so her debates are very strong. Hard to explain, but I do my best to try and council her on things I know to be correct and she disagrees with.

As for my son, he has gotten allot closer to me and we spend allot of time doing things together while my daughter is at home alone studying. I do yell at my son some, between the ADHD and the fact he doesn't care about school enough, he can frustrate me. But he is very, very sensitive and I do my best to provide positive reinforcement.

Parenting is not easy for sure, but having your kids only fear you is no way to parent in my opinion. You at times have to show them you are the final word, but there are better ways of doing it than hitting and yelling, although every now and then the yelling does happen, hard not too to be honest.

 

[Lee]

Got hit with belt by both my mom and dad as well as verbal/emotional abuse.....I don't do that shit to my kids.......has my culture changed?

Yes, you consciously changed your culture. Its possible, but not easy for most.

 

[Vee-Rex]

I suck at like 87% of things in life. Minimum. Might be higher.

But the one thing I’m really fucking good at, like REALLY fucking good is being a dad.

Some of it was from learning good and bad things from my dad, some reading and some of it comes from instinct.

The instinct part of it comes from being able to read my son and the situations he’s in like a book. And this also helps to be able to read OTHER kids and their parents like a book.

To me, bratty entitled 9 year olds come from bratty entitled parents. And that has nothing to do with a belt. It comes from an unwillingness to dedicate time and effort to teaching your kid how to interact with you, the parent. And to interact with other people. To go through the world as a solid citizen. Because for some people it’s easier to be a shit-head than not to be. These kids are coming from shit-head parents who probably also came from shit-head parents.



I’ve seen my SIL swat her kid on the ass in a way I wouldn’t call abuse. Her kids get the point.

I just don’t do it. I have my kid’s attention and I can read him in such a way that a facial expression is USUALLY all it takes to get him to stop a negative behavior. That’s not always the case. If he doesn’t stop or if he’s tantruming, I yank him out of the situation. And then communicate with him. But I can’t live with a scenario where I watch my kid hitting my grandson one day because I used to hit him. Ain’t me.

When I find out my kid did something I don’t like I sit him down and talk to him about it. We discuss what was wrong, how it hurt someone, whatever. And he explains back to me why before he gets up and leaves.

To me, this achieves far more than a belt.



What’s the best way? Why is it the best way? Could you use that way all the time instead? Does a belt or switch make them a better person? Can a belt or switch seriously hurt a kid? Do them damage you wouldn’t want the school or your friends to find out about? If not, why not?



Agree. People who walk on their parents are generally assholes. Parents shouldn’t let their kids do this.




Hitting shouldn’t be controversial. I think it’s controversial because people got raised getting hit and they want to be able to do it to their kids because it’s what they know. You stick to what you know. Truthfully, my parents were assholes (after dad died). They just yelled at me and told me I was useless. So I just got verbally abused. This isn't useful either. But its easy and I could see how it would be cathartic if you dislike your kid and arent happy with your life, which they kid and they weren’t.

Talking to your kids and establishing two-way respect is hard and it takes time. Hitting a kid is easy.

Sign me up for the former.

That's all fine and dandy. You can do whatever you want, man. I'm not criticizing people who don't spank their kids.

Look, if everything could be perfectly solved without anything 'bad' or 'painful' happening then I'd much rather it be that way. Good parents who spank their kids don't WANT to do it. It's not always a lazy way to discipline - sometimes it can just be necessary.

I think a problem in our society is that parents are like, "Well I raised my kids with spankings and they turned out well" and others are like, "Well I raised my kids without spankings and it turned out well" and neither have enough perspective to understand that perhaps it all depends on the kids themselves?

Perhaps the human psyche is so elaborate, so profoundly beyond our comprehension and understanding that there is no solid ONE WAY to do what's best for each wildly different child? Perhaps no amount of lecturing or pulling away will work for SOME kids?

Sometimes that's just how it is, IMO. Some adults will continue erratic behaviors like drinking and driving or speeding 24/7 or threatening others or being general pricks until something bad happens. Sometimes receiving 234098234 traffic tickets does absolutely nothing, and it isn't until an actual car accident happens that someone suddenly has an epiphany or realize that they need to change their behavior.

Maybe my analogies aren't perfect but my point is: not everyone is the same. Not every child is the same. You can be the best most patient most communicative parent and still find it failing. Or, you could be spanking kids that don't need to be spanked at all, just need guidance and communication. It's our challenge as parents to do what's best for the child no matter what.

And part of doing what's best is understanding the difference between spanking and abuse (physical or verbal/mental), and applying the most effective and appropriate disciplinary method to that child.

Never is it okay to abuse your child (which is what Tyreek Hill was doing).

 

[dark2332]

If under any controversial topic, one side says “it shouldn’t be controversial because my side is right,” that only furthers the controversy.

 

[David.]

What I’m saying is that horrible shit head kids generally come from horrible shit head parents.

I think good parents generally raise good kids. And there’s probably a pretty low incidence of hitting with good parents.

As to what you do when talking doesn’t work, you take things away, send them to their room to cool down.

Look...there’s gonna be some people that are going to want to defend hitting kids because their parents did it and they need it as part of their arsenal. And they also might define “horrible shit-head kid” differently than I do.

Parents generally make horrible shit head kids.

I was raised reasonably well and I was a nightmare. We are making some sweeping generalizations.

It's been conceded up thread that there are kids who walk all over their parents. That isn't the type of kid who is shitty bc of their excessively violent environment

 

[raiders91sc]

I don't judge people who spank their kids. I have never spanked any of my 3. I am pretty happy how they acted growing up and the adults they became.

But I was an asshole growing up and deserved to be beat. I was bouncing off walls and would never listen. It took a career in the army to balance me out. My brother has 6 kids and one of his boys should be mine. You could beat the kid for days and he would still fight you.

I don't know if it works but I have somewhat of understanding why it happens.

 

[The Oi]

Got hit with belt by both my mom and dad as well as verbal/emotional abuse.....I don't do that shit to my kids.......has my culture changed?

Respect on breaking the cycle. It’s too easy to get caught up in doing that shit.

Not talking about spanking. Talking about abuse. I got it too.

 

[AZ_]

I was raised reasonably well and I was a nightmare. We are making some sweeping generalizations.

It's been conceded up thread that there are kids who walk all over their parents. That isn't the type of kid who is shitty bc of their excessively violent environment

Was?