Hollywood scandal

[KI4MVP]

A little behind reading this thread, but it amazes me that so many people miss the vast difference between a person repeatedly asking out someone they know and a person repeatedly asking someone out someone who works for them. And not just asking out, inviting to "private dinners" at their home.

These aren't at all the same situation and shouldn't be compared as if they are.

 

[Maximus]

A little behind reading this thread, but it amazes me that so many people miss the vast difference between a person repeatedly asking out someone they know and a person repeatedly asking someone out someone who works for them. And not just asking out, inviting to "private dinners" at their home.

These aren't at all the same situation and shouldn't be compared as if they are.

I guess i get what you are saying. It just seems very minor compared to what his brother did and all this casting couch stuff we are hearing about. There's also a vast difference between asking someone out that you work with and groping, jerking off in front of them or raping them.
Why is "private dinners" in quotes? Is that code for "rape session"? "Hey Mary, why don't you come over tonight...ill cook you dinner." Meh...

My brother asked a girl at work out multiple times over the course of a year before she accepted...they've now been married 20+ years and have an army of kids.

Question - is it sexual harassment for someone that works at a restaurant to repeatedly ask a regular customer out over several months?

 

[TyGuy]

I guess i get what you are saying. It just seems very minor compared to what his brother did and all this casting couch stuff we are hearing about. There's also a vast difference between asking someone out that you work with and groping, jerking off in front of them or raping them.
Why is "private dinners" in quotes? Is that code for "rape session"? "Hey Mary, why don't you come over tonight...ill cook you dinner." Meh...

My brother asked a girl at work out multiple times over the course of a year before she accepted...they've now been married 20+ years and have an army of kids.

Question - is it sexual harassment for someone that works at a restaurant to repeatedly ask a regular customer out over several months?

Your brother probably got a nice haircut and looked extra fresh with some new clothes along with some minor tweaks to his approach. Well done.

 

[Maximus]

Your brother probably got a nice haircut and looked extra fresh with some new clothes along with some minor tweaks to his approach. Well done.

He's never had a good haircut. I think he just grew on her over time...like a fungus.

 

[KI4MVP]

I guess i get what you are saying. It just seems very minor compared to what his brother did and all this casting couch stuff we are hearing about. There's also a vast difference between asking someone out that you work with and groping, jerking off in front of them or raping them.
Why is "private dinners" in quotes? Is that code for "rape session"? "Hey Mary, why don't you come over tonight...ill cook you dinner." Meh...

My brother asked a girl at work out multiple times over the course of a year before she accepted...they've now been married 20+ years and have an army of kids.

Question - is it sexual harassment for someone that works at a restaurant to repeatedly ask a regular customer out over several months?

I didn't realize we were talking about two different people.

My point is the rules are different when you have hiring/firing/salary or other type of authority over a person. Where applying pressure of your authority over them could cause that person to agree to do something they otherwise wouldn't do.

 

[Maximus]

I didn't realize we were talking about two different people.

My point is the rules are different when you have hiring/firing/salary or other type of authority over a person. Where applying pressure of your authority over them could cause that person to agree to do something they otherwise wouldn't do.

Yes, we were talking about the Bob Weinstein accusation yesterday. Harvey has been accused of sexual harassment for 30+ years, i dont think Bob has ever been accused until yesterday. I do understand what you are saying about the rules being different when you have authority. Segal's story just doesn't sound too bad...and if she's going to come out with it, she's going to make it sound as bad as possible...it still didn't sound that bad. He asked her coworkers if she was available. He asked her out - SHE SAID YES. Now she says the only reason she said yes was to tell him and dinner that she only wanted to have a professional relationship. He asked her to drive him to his hotel and he'd send his driver home - SHE SAID YES. He invited her upstairs, she said no...nothing else happened.
Her coming out with this now sounds a little fishy. I really dont think a crime was committed here...maybe im wrong.

 

[Lee]

A little behind reading this thread, but it amazes me that so many people miss the vast difference between a person repeatedly asking out someone they know and a person repeatedly asking someone out someone who works for them. And not just asking out, inviting to "private dinners" at their home.

These aren't at all the same situation and shouldn't be compared as if they are.

I get it, but leaving someone the option to legitimately say no and forcing yourself upon one are two different realms.

Guys will be attracted to girls, guys will ask out girls. That i dont have much of a problem with, obviously not great when they are your direct report, but actresses and directors get married all the time, are we to assume the actress asked out the director 100% of the time initially...no, someone had to make the first move.

 

[David.]

I get it, but leaving someone the option to legitimately say no and forcing yourself upon one are two different realms.

Guys will be attracted to girls, guys will ask out girls. That i dont have much of a problem with, obviously not great when they are your direct report, but actresses and directors get married all the time, are we to assume the actress asked out the director 100% of the time initially...no, someone had to make the first move.

Most common place to find your spouse

 

[Lee]

Most common place to find your spouse

Except in West Virginia, there the most common place to find a spouse is a family reunion.

 

[The Oi]

How the fuck do I get rid of these warts on my thumb?

Can I peel them back and check them like a steak?

 

[Lee]

How the fuck do I get rid of these warts on my thumb?

Can I peel them back and check them like a steak?

No, that only works on genital warts.

 

[The Human Q-Tip]

Well yeah, they can have their lives and reputations ruined for standing up for themselves a victims.

What actress has had their reputation ruined by publicly accusing a producer or director of sexual harassment?

As I said, large number of ordinary women, many of whom live paycheck to paycheck, have the guts to do that. Seen it myself many times. And when the allegations are serious, not marginal stuff, it is rare for them to agree to a confidentiality clause. They actually care about what the guy might keep doing otherwise.

It is selfish and cowardly to remain silent, and let an evil continue.

 

[-Akronite-]

What actress has had their reputation ruined by publicly accusing a producer or director of sexual harassment?

Prominent actresses? Not sure off the top of my head.

I know in the comedy community there have also been issues of abuse and men getting away with assault on the lower levels even. Just recently a North Carolina improv theater owner (IIRC) was ousted because of his harassment and/or assaults. Especially when you're just coming up, you could absolutely fear retaliation and alienation. As we can see with almost all public accusations, it's not as if everyone jumps on board right away. If the woman doesn't want to be public or go to trial it's also labeled cowardly and there are those that assume the person is just trying to tear someone down.

As I said, large number of ordinary women, many of whom live paycheck to paycheck, have the guts to do that. Seen it myself many times. And when the allegations are serious, not marginal stuff, it is rare for them to agree to a confidentiality clause. They actually care about what the guy might keep doing otherwise.

It is selfish and cowardly to remain silent, and let an evil continue.

Ordinary women tend to have less to lose, to be fair.

We don't know what percentage of women actually report these things. We do know that a high percentage receive retaliation for reporting, which is more my point.

EDIT: Basically, I agree that victims should report in most cases. But we need to make it easier on the victims that report, which is a large part of what this exploding scandal is about. It's starts to tread into victim-blaming territory to attack people as "letting an evil continue" as if they are responsible for the evil at all. I see your point though.

 

[Cavatt]

What actress has had their reputation ruined by publicly accusing a producer or director of sexual harassment?

As I said, large number of ordinary women, many of whom live paycheck to paycheck, have the guts to do that. Seen it myself many times. And when the allegations are serious, not marginal stuff, it is rare for them to agree to a confidentiality clause. They actually care about what the guy might keep doing otherwise.

It is selfish and cowardly to remain silent, and let an evil continue.

Just because you have to be brave to come forward doesn't mean the opposite is true of people who don't. Millions of dollars are potentially on the line, and supposedly Weinstein ruining people's careers is real. He has done it just to people he has not liked.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...s-hitchcocks-sexual-harassment-ruined-career/

Hitchcock did it.

Roseanna Arquette was in Pulp fiction and then.. not much. Her career was pretty good up until then. That was when she turned him down.

 

[MirORich]

What actress has had their reputation ruined by publicly accusing a producer or director of sexual harassment?

As I said, large number of ordinary women, many of whom live paycheck to paycheck, have the guts to do that. Seen it myself many times. And when the allegations are serious, not marginal stuff, it is rare for them to agree to a confidentiality clause. They actually care about what the guy might keep doing otherwise.

It is selfish and cowardly to remain silent, and let an evil continue.

Keep in mind the movie industry angle of this story that affects all corners and professions of our country is not just about the already established actresses or actresses from famous acting families, but also all actresses with little to no power hoping to get an honest first shot. Or about women on production crews doing lighting, shooting, wardrobe, set design, etc.

And the trauma and feelings of fear/shame caused by some actions is a real and powerful thing. Invalidating someones experience or calling them complicit because they weren't comfortable going completely public is not considering the full scope of the effect of harassment/assault/abuse/rape.

Maybe rather than pit victims/survivors against each other in a suffering Olympics, we should support all of them and pivot the focus, attention, and repercussions to the people who actually committing the harassment and assaults.