The Perv Pool

[David.]

Go on.

Had a gay landlord. Caught him looking through the window a few times. Would lay on my bed etc. He still hits me up frequently.. Gave a lot of ubers to guys who got handy. First sales job, my buddy took me to upstairs of the office and forced himself on me. I didn't know what to do bc I didn't even know he was gay. I'd push him off and he'd get started trying shit again. It was probably only 15 seconds of him trying to get physical but it felt like forever

Etc etc

 

[Sebastian]

What about with gays? Surely not all sexual come-ons are welcome in your world same as ours, right? I feel like I’ve only seen Spacey so far but maybe I’m forgetting some?

Is this a thing? Could there ever be a #metoo movement amongst men the size as what we’re seeing with women accusing men?

Are men as aggressive and inappropriate towards men as they are towards women?

Men are predatory no matter orientation.

However, guys in a position of power are far more likely to engage in that behavior because on a one-to-one basis a guy can get his ass beat if he goes too far. The power shields them from that reaction.

That really is the understated element of why sexual harassment against women is so pernicious. When it comes down to it, they usually cannot defend themselves as well physically against aggressive men.

 

[Rich]

The Aziz Ansari story. I need someone to convince me that he assaulted her or did anything, really, out of the norm. I've tried to be sympathetic on this one..but I just can't.

She goes into his apartment on date one. Gets naked on date one. Has him perform oral sex on date one.....and then gets upset that he wants to actually head to home plate instead of romancing her and taking her out? Upset that he was just in it for the sex?

Ugh.......yes and? Tough. He wasn't the man of your dreams. Live and learn, but that's regret you're feeling, not assault. Take the L instead of going to some bullshit mag and running the man's name into the ground.

 

[Jack Brickman]

Men are predatory no matter orientation.

However, guys in a position of power are far more likely to engage in that behavior because on a one-to-one basis a guy can get his ass beat if he goes too far. The power shields them from that reaction.

That really is the understated element of why sexual harassment against women is so pernicious. When it comes down to it, they usually cannot defend themselves as well physically against aggressive men.

I'd imagine that's why basically all of these stories are with men and women or men and children. Predators prey on the weak.

Plus, if you're gay, you can just go to a steel mill, right?

 

[Sebastian]

I'd imagine that's why basically all of these stories are with men and women or men and children. Predators prey on the weak.

Plus, if you're gay, you can just go to a steel mill, right?

The deserve their revelry. The work hard, so they play hard.

 

[Jack Brickman]

The deserve their revelry. The work hard, so they play hard.

That's always been one of my favorite Simpsons episodes. The softball one is the best though.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhnqEjM2Yxc&t=25s

 

[Cratylus]

Jack's been on a Simpson's kick as of late!!

 

[Randolphkeys]

Had a gay landlord. Caught him looking through the window a few times. Would lay on my bed etc. He still hits me up frequently.. Gave a lot of ubers to guys who got handy. First sales job, my buddy took me to upstairs of the office and forced himself on me. I didn't know what to do bc I didn't even know he was gay. I'd push him off and he'd get started trying shit again. It was probably only 15 seconds of him trying to get physical but it felt like forever

Etc etc

I look out my backyard at the fat ass chain-smoking neighbor all the time. I do it because I'm bored. I never thought I was sexually harassing him.

He shouldn't have worn denim overalls practically asking me to stare, I guess...

 

[MediumBaller]

The Aziz Ansari story. I need someone to convince me that he assaulted her or did anything, really, out of the norm. I've tried to be sympathetic on this one..but I just can't.

She goes into his apartment on date one. Gets naked on date one. Has him perform oral sex on date one.....and then gets upset that he wants to actually head to home plate instead of romancing her and taking her out? Upset that he was just in it for the sex?

Ugh.......yes and? Tough. He wasn't the man of your dreams. Live and learn, but that's regret you're feeling, not assault. Take the L instead of going to some bullshit mag and running the man's name into the ground.

He didn't. Like this article says, the only thing he's guilty of is not being a mind reader.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/01/...rassment.html?referer=https://www.google.com/

 

[David.]

I've said it before but a large, large amount of rapes are miscommunicated sexual endeavors.

 

[Jack Brickman]

Jack's been on a Simpson's kick as of late!!

I've been rewatching some of the classic episodes. Such a great show back in the day.

 

[-Akronite-]

The Aziz Ansari story. I need someone to convince me that he assaulted her or did anything, really, out of the norm. I've tried to be sympathetic on this one..but I just can't.

She goes into his apartment on date one. Gets naked on date one. Has him perform oral sex on date one.....and then gets upset that he wants to actually head to home plate instead of romancing her and taking her out? Upset that he was just in it for the sex?

Ugh.......yes and? Tough. He wasn't the man of your dreams. Live and learn, but that's regret you're feeling, not assault. Take the L instead of going to some bullshit mag and running the man's name into the ground.

While it seems to be in the gray area assault-wise, he does come off like a really shitty sexual partner/date. As she described it (right? or did I read this somewhere else), he was like an entitled 18-year-old. Based on the article it's borderline at best in terms of it being assault. There's no real indication that she couldn't have left the situation. But he seemed to just want casual sex I'm assuming, and seemed pretty adamant about pushing things in that direction even though her signs were not indicating she was comfortable. I mean, we can make it as simple as "reading minds" but he does come off as someone with low awareness in the story (or worse).

Clearly, she used his name, so it was a pointed article. I do think the story it tells stirs an important conversation about sexual dynamics that goes beyond purely legal issues. But she likely would've been better served, unless her goal is truly to take him down/bring him to justice, keeping it anonymous. It would've been better for the conversation instead of it being a debate about whether Aziz assaulted her and should be hated or not. When I read it, I was conflicted because while I empathize with her shitty experience, it seemed like airing out someone's personal failings in an inappropriate way. Like a guy being single-minded about sex isn't a crime. Feel free to tell your girlfriends and sway them away from douchebags, but putting it in an article? I don't know. That being said, if she truly felt violated and that it was assault, it's hard for me to straight up tell her she's wrong. It's a gross story.

I will say the fact that there has been a conversation rather than universal condemnation is actually a really good sign when it comes to #MeToo. People are really worried about lumping all men in with Weinstein, but you don't have to be Weinstein level to be a bad person who should be dumped by business. The fact that Aziz hasn't been destroyed by the mob (if anything, the mob has defended him) indicates that maybe people shouldn't be so worried about a witch hunt.

EDIT: To clarify, I think I agree on face value that it wasn't assault. But the fact that many people see this as "the norm" reveals how far we need to go in terms of reforming our sexual culture.

 

[David.]

EDIT: To clarify, I think I agree on face value that it wasn't assault. But the fact that many people see this as "the norm" reveals how far we need to go in terms of reforming our sexual culture.

Spoken like a true conservative.

 

[Jack Brickman]

He didn't. Like this article says, the only thing he's guilty of is not being a mind reader.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/01/...rassment.html?referer=https://www.google.com/

Yeah, this was pretty clearly not a sexual assault. When she told him to stop and was firm about it, he stopped.

I believe it was Daniel Tosh who said it best (paraphrasing): "If no meant no, every guy here would die a virgin."

The bottom line is that most girls will push back a bit when you're making moves on them, but there's a clear difference between them telling you no as in slow down and them telling you to stop. It's not a difficult difference to discern either.

At any rate, if the worst night of that girl's life is a guy stopping when she told him to stop and then calling her an Uber and apologizing for being too forward, she's had a pretty easy life.

 

[MediumBaller]

Yeah, this was pretty clearly not a sexual assault. When she told him to stop and was firm about it, he stopped.

I believe it was Daniel Tosh who said it best (paraphrasing): "If no meant no, every guy here would die a virgin."

The bottom line is that most girls will push back a bit when you're making moves on them, but there's a clear difference between them telling you no as in slow down and them telling you to stop. It's not a difficult difference to discern either.

At any rate, if the worst night of that girl's life is a guy stopping when she told him to stop and then calling her an Uber and apologizing for being too forward, she's had a pretty easy life.

Exactly. The girl went back to his apartment, let him undress her, blew him, etc. All usually good signs that the girl is interested. Then she told him to stop, he did and called her an uber, and she left. It sounds like it was an awkward situation, but a sexual assault this was not.