New Column up
Cavs Sleep Till Brooklyn, Awaken To Disappointment
http://www.clevescene.com/scene-and...-sleep-till-brooklyn-awaken-to-disappointment
“....Playoffs? Playoffs? You’ll be lucky to get out of the first round,” Cornfed shouted, hand hitting the table for emphasis. “Your intensity’s for shit. Paint dries with more urgency. Your defense is flimsier that a porn plot and twice as likely to involve bending over. Don’t even get me started on the offense. Crack addicts share the rock more willingly.”
He turned and paced while his partner put his hand on his shoulder and leaned in to talk to him, pretend to calm him down. The second cop was shorter, hairier with some overambitious facial hair more appropriate to an organ grinder. “Shouldn’t you be tying a damsel to rails somewhere,” the impertinent Cavs cracked.
Stachy McStacheFace just chuckled. “Hey, this is no fun for you. We get that. You think this is fun for us? Try to understand our perspective. Well-traveled gents with a love of leather troll an entire city with promises of riches in what from here only looks like a well-oiled Ponzi scheme. What are you really intending to do with the money? A battalion of Banana boats? Maybe a giant coin-changer with wings to drop deadly dimes from above? If you tell us, we can make it easier on you.”
“Easier?” At this Cornfed spun around at lunged that the Cavs. “Listen you lazy sacks of entitlement, if I don’t see you getting back in transition again we’re putting you in Converse All-Stars and to hell with your ankles....”