well.... fuck

[wuck]

Does anyone here have any experience with the people coming to the house to assist? I don't understand why this isn't a much bigger market. My wife's mom asked about this over Christmas and we would love to make it happen, but have no idea how. Someone stopping by 2 or 3 times a week just to check in would be a life saver (maybe literally)

the best money my family ever spent was to consult with a professional care manager (it would be this kind of person in California: http://alcalacaremanagement.com/). our care manager helped manage family communications--which sometimes can get dificult, helped us choose which doctors and home care services were appropriate, gave us tips on how and where to find good home help--either full-time or part-time check-in. basically the home care person had been through all this before with many, many families and had seen it all. the home care advisors can be consulted with occasionally or can be hired on a kind of retainer. we did not use alcalacare but i have friends who did and said he was helpful, knew about everything, and remained patient with different types of changes and new directions as things proceeded with elder care.

it's worth even a preliminary phonecall to an eldercare specialist to see what they can do for you and whether it would worth your time. they can point you to the kinds of services you might need now or later in the process. we basically checked in with the elder care specialist from time to time just for a sanity check and they guided us well every time. good luck!

 

[Randolphkeys]

Does anyone here have any experience with the people coming to the house to assist? I don't understand why this isn't a much bigger market. My wife's mom asked about this over Christmas and we would love to make it happen, but have no idea how. Someone stopping by 2 or 3 times a week just to check in would be a life saver (maybe literally)

I didn't want to jump in too much since I was a grandchild of a good assisted living situation and I don't have all the details.

However, if your mother-in-law is a homeowner and your family wants her home investment to transfer into her transitional assisted living, there are some intriguing options. I know Oregon has some programs.

My grandparents sold their home to invest in a condo on an expansive property that includes a senior living center in Olmstead Falls. This is called transitional assisted living. The property allowed my grandparents to have visits from the staff on their own terms until my grandfather passed and my grandmother needed to move into the center. Overall my family was very happy with this option.

If your mother-in-law has friends who have already discussed their assisted living plan, being with friendly faces she already knows is also a great plan.

 

[wuck]

the best money my family ever spent was to consult with a professional care manager (it would be this kind of person in California: http://alcalacaremanagement.com/).

i forgot to mention: the eldercare people also work with other professionals in larger networks, so if you call any of them (like alcala) they can refer you to others in your area. we had far better luck with an individual care specialist rather than some of the big companies who have a bunch of them on staff. you will be able to find all the help you need these days. the number of people who need this help and the number of people who help them are growing a lot every year.

 

[Criznit]

Some excellent information/insight coming in. You guys are a good egg.

 

[The Oi]

Wife is an elder law attorney.

I can say from observing her work over the years that when elderly parents are going to nursing homes, working on wills, and distributing estates that working with a well-respected one in your area is well worth the time and money.

 

[2 For The Brew]

My mom used Visiting Angels and other in person visit services. Expensive but some states assist in the costs. My mom & stepdad have excellent nursing home insurance and they support various in home visits because assisted living or memory care is very expensive.

They also have an elder care attorney who handled all their legal documents. She’s really good and local in Philly. I’d say that’s even more critical than a financial advisor. As always with lawyers / financial advisors you need to consult with a few & choose one that you like & trust.

My father was flying back from Tanzania to Florida but his father passed away before he got there. I was visiting my dad a few times in Miami but he passed while I was back home. You can’t always be there but the best way to help imho is to make sure you get professional advice and resources as needed (and saving money with insurance or state supported services is great).

 

[The Oi]

My mom used Visiting Angels and other in person visit services. Expensive but some states assist in the costs. My mom & stepdad have excellent nursing home insurance and they support various in home visits because assisted living or memory care is very expensive.

They also have an elder care attorney who handled all their legal documents. She’s really good and local in Philly. I’d say that’s even more critical than a financial advisor. As always with lawyers / financial advisors you need to consult with a few & choose one that you like & trust.

My father was flying back from Tanzania to Florida but his father passed away before he got there. I was visiting my dad a few times in Miami but he passed while I was back home. You can’t always be there but the best way to help imho is to make sure you get professional advice and resources as needed (and saving money with insurance or state supported services is great).

Don’t tell me in the thread, but I bet my wife knows your parents attorney!

Your advice is 100% on point.