Drug addiction/sobriety

[David.]

I've put the phone down, ignored a handful of prospects.

Was going to share my downfall at n.a. but there was a smoking fucking hot chick there and I couldn't bring myself to talk about how many girls I've just slept with and the mean shit I did or said, or how I get off on control and being wanted in front of her


My support system is laughable. It's a joke that most people only will be around you if things are going well. No one will actually be there for you.

I've isolated, which normally is bad, but I'm off the hinges and sometimes imprisonment gives you time and space to chill and think

 

[Adam]

I've put the phone down, ignored a handful of prospects.

Was going to share my downfall at n.a. but there was a smoking fucking hot chick there and I couldn't bring myself to talk about how many girls I've just slept with and the mean shit I did or said, or how I get off on control and being wanted in front of her


My support system is laughable. It's a joke that most people only will be around you if things are going well. No one will actually be there for you.

I've isolated, which normally is bad, but I'm off the hinges and sometimes imprisonment gives you time and space to chill and think

Dude you were making good progress a few back so just realise this is a dip in the road and try your best to get that zen state of mind back.
I kind of think the man whoring was a real good example of the obsessive tendencys that can lead to these problems in the first place. it was the one thing that made you betters you just went 100% into it.
I hope you find a way to diversify and try to build a support network through NA. that hot girl might not have fucked you if you told her and the group about your adventures but she and a few other might have respected you're honesty and you might have felt some catharsis. you should consider if the slow game might be best from now on.

 

[David.]

Can't beat it

 

[David.]

What's the point of anything if you can't get a job, will never be able to pay off loans, can't have kids, are incapable of loving anyone, and hurt everyone you care about as much as you're able?

 

[Adam]

What's the point of anything if you can't get a job, will never be able to pay off loans, can't have kids, are incapable of loving anyone, and hurt everyone you care about as much as you're able?

That is an interesting point. If you never pay off your student loan does it just get wiped out at 60? just curious.

Personally i think you tipped your hat a bit with the last 3. Especially the last 2 as they are both oppositely self-fulfilling prophecies so if you are going to wallow in self pity you're going to have to choose between being incapable of loving someone OR hurting the the people you care about. Unless you pull the whole 'loving and caring aint the same card' which is bullshit.

As far as kids, right now you should be glad you dont have other people to worry about, get yourself back on track, start small and make the right small decisions tomorrow and start from there. Then later on once your clean and in control you can find solutions to the money and family problems

Its time to get off the mat

 

[David.]

That is an interesting point. If you never pay off your student loan does it just get wiped out at 60? just curious.

Personally i think you tipped your hat a bit with the last 3. Especially the last 2 as they are both oppositely self-fulfilling prophecies so if you are going to wallow in self pity you're going to have to choose between being incapable of loving someone OR hurting the the people you care about. Unless you pull the whole 'loving and caring aint the same card' which is bullshit.

As far as kids, right now you should be glad you dont have other people to worry about, get yourself back on track, start small and make the right small decisions tomorrow and start from there. Then later on once your clean and in control you can find solutions to the money and family problems

Its time to get off the mat

I am incapable of developing strong feelings outside of need for validation and companionship from someone who adores me.

I care about them, but I don't love them.

And yes I hurt them. Slowly, over time, as they figure out their place, and then quickly and irreparabley when I lash out at them.


What track is there to get on? I am doomed to not find a living wage. I have to deal with aggressive cases of sex and drug addiction which are more harmful than in even comfortable talking about here.

 

[David.]

Moms been in town24 hours

I can't take this bitch

 

[David.]

Moms been in town24 hours

I can't take this bitch

There's people that fall into this section of a Venn diagram where they lack a certain amount of social awareness/skill and are assholes, and it's a fine line between the two.

Intentional or not, go fuck yourself

 

[David.]

This woman has made conversation impossible. She only answers in one word responses, even after I've brought her lack of effort to attention on several occasions.

Has yet to day a single positive thing, nor anything that isn't critical. She asked how I expected any girl to fuck me with a bedroom so dirty. When I asked if she knew how offensive that was and that she had yet to day a positive thing since I picked her up from the airport she literally laughed it off and turned the TV up.

Lighting up cigarettes in my apartment without asking, then not putting them immediately out when I bring up that it's not really cool.. then lighting them up in my fucking car like none of the other shit happened

She refuses input on what she'd like to eat, do, watch, etc. She sat from 830 to 1230 tonight on her tab playing fucking video games as I hinted and then explicitly told her I was going to sleep, can you leave the living room and go to the bed I made you if you're going to just sit in silence and not interact?

She still would not.

She woke me up at 1 am last night by clapping for my dog to come to her, feet away from my head. I could not get back to sleep.

She did that shit again tonight and I told her not to, she apologized sarcasticaly like I was an asshole,waited ten minutes and started doing it again and then having full conversations with my dog.


And I'm fucking sad because yes, she is so unsocialized that she probably doesn't"get"all this,even after I tell her, and I'm sad realizing she's going to die with me just hating her and that she's alone as fuck, and the other half of me is just so fucking over it.

Why tthe fuck come here? How inconsiderate can you possibly be? She hasn't asked a single question about me since she got here or appeared to have heard a single thing I've communicated

 

[David.]

3 motherfucking nights out of three, she's woken me up at 2am.

And now I have to feel bad for yelling at her.

While not sleeping for the third straight night.

 

[David.]

Just did it again.

Edit: she actually just drove away in my car at 345 am after waking me up 4 times in three nights.

 

[The Oi]

Are you talking about your mom?

 

[DJTJ]

I'll throw in my issues, maybe an adult can help.

I can only binge drink. There is no ability for me to stop after one drink. I'm 23. It had the ability to cut it for months, and then have weekends were I'm basically obliterated for two nights in a row for a solid month straight. I refuse to go in situations where I'll be inclined to drink during the week, and it vastly eliminates social life.

 

[Zog]

I'll throw in my issues, maybe an adult can help.

I can only binge drink. There is no ability for me to stop after one drink. I'm 23. It had the ability to cut it for months, and then have weekends were I'm basically obliterated for two nights in a row for a solid month straight. I refuse to go in situations where I'll be inclined to drink during the week, and it vastly eliminates social life.

I used to binge drink all the time. I once drank for about 25 straight nights when I was 22-23 and just living the life on campus, working at a campus bar for a few months after graduation, though some of them I didn't get too drunk (drank while on the job at the bar). My every day was literally waking up at 1PM, drinking a ton of water, eating food, laying around for a few hours, eating dinner, and then starting to drink around 9PM, drink until 2AM, maybe later if I went to after hours, go to bed between 2AM and 5AM, and start over the next day. If I worked that night at the bar, it was basically the same schedule, just slower consumption of drinks.

Not saying the same thing will happen to you, but here's what I posted back on the first page of this thread:

As far as alcohol goes, I've seriously calmed down in the last 9 months. I used to binge drink like a madman every Friday/Saturday until it started affecting my peripheral nerves (tingling in hands/feet after drinking), which gave me good reason to slow down. Now I'll have just a couple drinks when I go out and be entertained by everyone else who's doing crazy shit while blacked out, and my nerves are back to normal. Plus, it's a lot cheaper.

At your age I'm sure I would have said that this would never happen to me, and it's only like 10% of people who drink heavily that have their nerves affected. But there are lots of other health issues that can arise that you just don't consider at your age. I'm 28 now and definitely wish I learned to not binge drink before I was forced to for health reasons. I am completely over the issues I was having now thankfully, but if I ignored them, I'd be in a world of hurt I'm sure.

 

[The Process God]

How much longer is your mom in town for?