The mental health thread

[Sebastian]

She called me immature for wanting to hookup with someone outside of a monogamous relationship and wanted me to break it off with my long time partner even though we are both happy.

Your therapist said this?

 

[David.]

Your therapist said this?

Oh yea.

 

[Sebastian]

Oh yea.

That is ridiculous.

Is she an Amish therapist or something?

 

[David.]

That is ridiculous.

Is she an Amish therapist or something?

I didn't even know what to say.

I'm glad I kinda told her what was up even if unintentional.

 

[Sebastian]

I didn't even know what to say.

I'm glad I kinda told her what was up even if unintentional.

You don't have to post it, or you can PM it to me, but I am curious how you came to see this particular therapist.

I am just shocked that a licensed, professional therapist would say something like that in 2023.

I am not a therapist, but attacking one's patient like that, for seeking something very normal, that isn't close to morally repugnant, and most common with regard to the conventions and expectations of today's society, as well as advocating ending a working relationship, appears to be professionally and therapeutically incorrect.

 

[Lee]

Partner is great, she doesn't do drugs or anything

Then fuck that therapist

 

[Chris]

I don’t know what the fuck has happened to me in recent years but I’ve just become absurdly sensitive to human suffering. Like being exposed to it gnaws away at my mental health and just bothers the hell out of me. And given recent world events it’s just launched me into full depression mode.

Never used to be like this. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression before in my life, like most people, but usually related to my own circumstances. Now I can’t open my phone or turn on the news without seeing dead kids and other depressing shit. I guess the easy solution is to just cut off all social/media or limit it in that regard, but that also feels fake and like I’m just blinding myself to reality.

Maybe I just yearn to help in some way, or feel guilty for living a comfortable and happy life while other peoples’ loved ones are being murdered.

I dunno, it’s just fucking me up.

 

[bronko]

I don’t know what the fuck has happened to me in recent years but I’ve just become absurdly sensitive to human suffering. Like being exposed to it gnaws away at my mental health and just bothers the hell out of me. And given recent world events it’s just launched me into full depression mode.

Never used to be like this. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression before in my life, like most people, but usually related to my own circumstances. Now I can’t open my phone or turn on the news without seeing dead kids and other depressing shit. I guess the easy solution is to just cut off all social/media or limit it in that regard, but that also feels fake and like I’m just blinding myself to reality.

Maybe I just yearn to help in some way, or feel guilty for living a comfortable and happy life while other peoples’ loved ones are being murdered.

I dunno, it’s just fucking me up.

Congratulations, you seem like a good normal human being. The media brings attention to a lot of miserable stuff. Accept what you cannot change. Work to improve what you can. Make your voice heard. Vote. Turn off the news (sometimes).

 

[buzzdog]

Then fuck that therapist

My experience with the ex wife and kids is you have to go through about 5 therapists before you find a good one who can actually help.

 

[AllforOne]

My experience with the ex wife and kids is you have to go through about 5 therapists before you find a good one who can actually help.

Truth. Some just aren’t very good. Some are good, but are not the right match. It may take a few swings and misses before you find the right one. When you do, though, it is a life-changer.

 

[CleveRocks]

I have been to 4, but the guy who specialized in ADHD in relationships actually fixed a bunch of shit for me.. Helped me understand the destructive mechanisms in my life, and how defuse them before things go off the rails..

Everyone is different. And a good couples therapist is not necessarily a good personal therapist..

 

[2 For The Brew]

Also possible to have a good therapist that helps you with problems A and B who aren’t good at helping you with C and D. For example a therapist that’s skilled in divorce counseling might not be as helpful with grief counseling.

My favorite word for this topic is confused. That simply means “unable to think clearly.” I think the overwhelming majority of people have times in their life when they are confused. Most of the time people can work out their confusion over time but there are situations, problems and crises where help is needed. If the confusion is seriously affecting your life and you can’t figure it out then help is needed. It might take time and a lot of misses to find the right help but it’s essential to get it.

It‘s also true that some problems have no solution. Then the challenge is how to live your best life with an unsolvable problem. Might need help to figure that out as well.

 

[Sir'Dom Pointer]

It's a sick time when Claude/ChatGPT gives me better health/mental/job advice than my friends and family.

 

[Kouki]

I know there's a handful of divorced/separated folks with kids here

Any words of wisdom for when your ex has a new man in her life?

IDGAF about her, just the thought of another person daughter makes me sick to my stomach and scared and depressed and I'm already an insecure mess mentally

I really need to get to a therapist regularly, 2.5 years of sobriety but I have little to show for it, I just completely melted down yesterday. I "recovered" quickly by taking my good anxiety meds and the depression turned into anger and I got stuff done but that's not exactly sustainable unless I want to take beta blockers every day for the rest of my life. It really is the only time I feel good about myself though and don't less the depressive / intrusive thoughts win.

When I'm already in the dumps and I see triggers it just makes everything 10x worse. And those triggers could be as simple as seeing a messy garage or basement that I've put off for a long time, or wasting time watching dumb YouTube videos, or my dogs being bored, or eating unhealthy, or not exercising

ETA my daughter is just about to turn 3

 

[DJTJ]

I know there's a handful of divorced/separated folks with kids here

Any words of wisdom for when your ex has a new man in her life?

IDGAF about her, just the thought of another person daughter makes me sick to my stomach and scared and depressed and I'm already an insecure mess mentally

I really need to get to a therapist regularly, 2.5 years of sobriety but I have little to show for it, I just completely melted down yesterday. I "recovered" quickly by taking my good anxiety meds and the depression turned into anger and I got stuff done but that's not exactly sustainable unless I want to take beta blockers every day for the rest of my life. It really is the only time I feel good about myself though and don't less the depressive / intrusive thoughts win.

When I'm already in the dumps and I see triggers it just makes everything 10x worse. And those triggers could be as simple as seeing a messy garage or basement that I've put off for a long time, or wasting time watching dumb YouTube videos, or my dogs being bored, or eating unhealthy, or not exercising

ETA my daughter is just about to turn 3

I’m the other person in a similar, so I can provide a unique perspective on how NOT to act.

If you have any civil relationship with your ex, awesome, if not, things not to do. Also assuming that the ex has at least a want for the kid to be something in life.

One, be there when you’re supposed to be. On time and for what you’re responsible for. Two, if this person sticks around and you can tell they care about your kid and are meaningfully contributing to their development, realize that you don’t have to put down your ex and her partner. A huge struggle for me is that while I’ve been financially supporting my daughter for 5ish years, and only officially required to for 2, my daughter is constantly fed that I’m not a real dad by her birth dad. Don’t be that guy. Three, for the life of God, realize this was likely to happen, and being supportive while looking out for your child’s best interest doesn’t mean retaliating or trying to push narratives.

Your kid is likely to eventually have 3+ parents, and that’s totally fine, when the ego gets checked at the door. Always try to do things for the benefit of the child (and truthfully no matter how messy a divorce or split, for the mom to succeed as well). Same page all the time, and it’s a lot smoother.